1. Structure/Conventions: A few of wording issues and skewed sentence structure situations should be looked at. These are underlined in blue throughout.
2. Try to avoid hyperbolic adjectives, such as "very" simple or "extremely". These detract from the professionalism of the tone that should be observed in the assignment.
3. Keep the specific questions themselves in the appendix portion. I see that you did this which is good, but they don't need to be in the actual body of the paper.
4. Try to avoid terms such as clueless and subliminally swayed in the research portions. Terms as definitive as this should be included in analysis or conclusion. Basically, use statistics in the research to support that you consider the audience clueless in your analysis.
Some additional thoughts: If you call something interesting, elaborate. In the research section you indicated that the viewership numbers are interesting. Why? If you do not want to include this in the research section, I suggest moving this part to the analysis.
1. Structure/Conventions: A few of wording issues and skewed sentence structure situations should be looked at. These are underlined in blue throughout.
ReplyDelete2. Try to avoid hyperbolic adjectives, such as "very" simple or "extremely". These detract from the professionalism of the tone that should be observed in the assignment.
3. Keep the specific questions themselves in the appendix portion. I see that you did this which is good, but they don't need to be in the actual body of the paper.
4. Try to avoid terms such as clueless and subliminally swayed in the research portions. Terms as definitive as this should be included in analysis or conclusion. Basically, use statistics in the research to support that you consider the audience clueless in your analysis.
Some additional thoughts:
DeleteIf you call something interesting, elaborate. In the research section you indicated that the viewership numbers are interesting. Why? If you do not want to include this in the research section, I suggest moving this part to the analysis.